Thursday, 19 April 2012

Who would've thought the gym could be so entertaining?

Another great place to people watch is the gym. I've just joined my boyfriend's gym for 6 months since I found myself going with him most weeks and paying a tenner anyway. The gym is great for people watching. You get a whole variety of people in there. 

First and foremost (and also the most frequent) are the posers. The big, muscly guys (whose physique must be down to steroids since they don't do a damn thing in the gym!) who saunter in, perm-tanned and clad in the likes of Ralph Lauren jersey shorts and Toms. Not suitable gym attire. But then again, they haven't come in to work out, so I suppose it doesn't really matter what they're wearing! They tend to hang about in packs, leaning against bits of equipment and machinery, making it awkward for those of us who actually come to the gym to EXERCISE to make full use of everything. They'll occasionally do a bicep curl or two, before glugging down a totally unnecessary protein shake, to replace the energy they've lost during their hardcore sesh of chatting and pouting in the mirror.

Unlike the posers, next there's the meatheads. A group of middle aged men who are slaves to free weights and baby oil. They're normally instantly recognisable in their string vests (often nipples on show) and ginormous biceps. Triangular shaped springs to mind - spend all their time training their upper body, and thus have 2 tiny chicken legs. You can usually hear them grunting from across the gym floor.

Next you get the Madges. These are a group of 60+ year old women whose abs could rival the likes of Nicole Sherzinger, named the 'Madges' on account of their uncanny resemblance to Madge off Benidorm. They wander around the gym in inappropriately tight leggings and crop tops, usually sporting a camel toe. There is usually at least 1 or 2 Madges in the gym at any one time, and you do have to wonder, do they ever go home? 

Pre-pubescent boys can be found sheepishly wandering around the gym too. Recognisable by their football strips and inability to keep their mouths shut when they see a hot blonde trotting away on the treadmill. Like the posers, they don't tend to do much real exercise, and use the gym as a bit of a social occasion.

As far as I'm concerned, I'm not really sure which category I fall into, certainly none of the above. I guess there's another group too, but because they're nothing out of the ordinary, I don't tend to notice them. They're the people who come in, work out, then leave. The 'normals'.

And although I may take the piss out of these beauties who grace the gym floor, I certainly wouldn't wish they were elsewhere; what else would get me through my workout if it wasn't for laughing at all these unfortunates?!

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